“The Only Time I Ever Wished I Was Billy Bob Thornton”

It’s time for another update from BIFF SOCKO, TWO-FISTED NEWSHOUND. Biff Socko covers Comic Book News like zits on the A-V Club. Faster than Perry White! Stronger than J. Jonah Jameson! Hotter than Cat Grant! He is…BIFF SOCKO!

iron3
DATELINE: HOLLYWOOD & WEST VIRGINIA-
There’s a new trailer for IRON MAN 3. It is double-length. It contains: A scene of Tony and Pepper in bed; A close-up of Mandarin’s Rings; and a shot of Iron Man trapped underwater.
There is also a new trailer for the MTV reality series BUCK WILD. It is a double-wide. It contains: A retractable awning; Three chemical toilets; and a closet stocked with nothing but Wild Turkey and EPTs.

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DATELINE: NEW YORK–  As part of Superman’s 75th birthday, DC is unveiling a number of new titles, including a new series about the Man of Steel created by SCOTT SNYDER and JIM LEE. I have learned that the title of the new book is SUPERMAN UNCHAINED. Also in the planning stages are:
–RESERVOIR SUPER-DOGS
–GRINDHOUSE OF MYSTERY
–INGLORIOUS BATGIRLS
–KILL CONGO BILL: VOL. 1 and…
–KILL CONGO BILL: VOL. 2

 

 

 

storm

DATELINE: WESTCHESTER COUNTY, NY– HALLE BERRY will reprise her role as Storm in the upcoming movie X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST. Fans across the comic book and movie landscapes are hoping Ms. Berry is given more screen minutes in this X-Men film. MALE fans across the comic book and movie landscapes are hoping Ms. Berry is given more screen minutes like the three screen minutes she had in SWORDFISH (Screen Minute 38 through Screen Minute 40) and the five screen minutes she had in MONSTER’S BALL (Screen Minute 93 through Screen Minute 97)…thank you, Mr. Skin.

 

sword

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Clint McElroy
Clint McElroy

BIO BY MADLIBS:
Clint McElroy is a/an (ADJECTIVE) writer with a God-given gift for (NOUN). His favorite activities include (ACTIVE VERB), (ACTIVE VERB), and twisting the heads off of (PLURAL NOUN). He is also rumored to possess an impressive (NOUN).

Articles: 139