It’s time for another update from BIFF SOCKO, TWO-FISTED NEWSHOUND. Biff Socko covers Comic Book News like zits on the A-V Club. Faster than Perry White! Stronger than J. Jonah Jameson! He is…BIFF SOCKO!
DATELINE: SMALLVILLE – Mystery and controversy swirl around ACTION #13. It all began when it was learned that issue will feature the return of KRYPTO the Super-Dog. Buzz around the Comics industry is that it will not be the happiest of returns. One source has confirmed that there will be a death involved but would not identify who dies..only that it is the result of a “Leg-humping incident gone horribly, horribly wrong”
DATELINE: NEW YORK – Casting is underway for the S.H.I.E.L.D. television series, created by JOSS WHEDON. Whedon is looking for actors to fill the roles of agents created specifically for the new series, including: AGENT SLAPPY, described as a jolly prankster who always stands on Nick Fury’s left side so he can make faces at him and not get caught. AGENT MURMUR, described as a beautiful woman who uses her looks and charm to get whatever she wants. Her special ability is dating a producer. And AGENT SWIFTY, described as an actual agent, who books the other agents in crummy gigs and takes ten percent of everything they make.
DATELINE: DC – It appears that DC is living up to the promise of wise-sweeping changes resulting from the #0 issues. Phantom Stranger #0, made it very clear that the character is going to be responsible for the origin of the major supernatural characters in the DC Universe. This reporter could not get a confirmation from the powers-that-be, but an inside source has leaked snippets of dialogue from upcoming issues of the monthly Phantom Stranger title that would give credence to this theory:
“Mr. Faust –may I call you Felix? Good. Felix, I’ve been watching a lot of Project Runway and this hat is a cutting edge fashion statement. When the rest of the world sees YOU wearing a crematorium urn on your head, EVERYBODY will be wearing crematorium urns on their head!”
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